The thing I’m not supposed to say?”“Yes. There are a lot more details about her life you don’t know, but suffice it to say she never felt loved. Ever.”“You wrote all that other stuff in your journal, you dope!”“Shit!” I sighed. “I did, didn’t I? Well, OK, then you DO know. Think about her life. Nobody ever REALLY wanted her. Her mom tried to have an abortion and was stymied only because Texas prohibited abortions in 1960. Think about THAT! It’s like me. My mother did NOT want me. She wanted the baby she miscarried before me. I wrote that in my journal, too.”“I just do not understand that! You didn’t kill that baby! Nature did!”“Very true. But that’s not how it worked in her mind. I even got a modified version of the girl’s name she picked out. My sister got that name. But when it was clear Stephanie bonded to me, then my brother became the perfect angel for some reason. Or something. It would take a lifetime of psychotherapy to unpack that mess. And I don’t have the energy or desire. Two years of training, I survived and got rewarded with another 2 years of specialization - ‘Nuff said. You know the stuff, single, no relatives, smart and more than a little physco/socio pathic. We do things that folks don’t want to hear about, let alone see and yet we sleep well afterwards. I never had any PTSD symptoms which made the post-op psych evaluators somewhat frustrated as they had difficulty accepting that. To me, it was the same as getting some eggs at the store as far as I was concerned - and nobody gets PTSD from buying eggs.Meanwhile, back to the lady friend who was a sweet 16 brunette who loved to fuck and we did - a lot - not that I was any great shakes at it except for being eager as hell. Well, she arranged for us to spend some time at her cousin’s apartment across the city. What I didn’t know was that while we were going there to shag, her cousin was going to be doing the same thing. The difference was that the cousin was married and her partner was not her.
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